Hello and Happy 2018!

I hope everyone is having a great start to the new year. I wanted to take this moment to announce a new project I’ve been working on, which I decided to title #IAmMe.#IAmMe

Last year, I encountered a Facebook post by this dude named Jack in a popular FtM group that read:

“My mom is convinced that I’m trans because I have unresolved issues with my past lives and need to go to a therapist that will put me in deep hypnosis so I can come to terms with my masculine past lives and stop being trans.”

He followed that up with, “I get that she’s in denial, but this is a whole new level of whack.”

I agree, Jack, and immediately thought, “WAIT….hold up. Is she for real? Do people like this STILL exist in the world?” Sure enough, after scrolling down a bit and reading multiple other peoples’ similar accounts of why their family or “friends” believe them to be trans or non-binary, I knew it to be true, and I’ll quote the president for this one because there’s no other feeling I could describe this realization other than, “SAD.”

Another feeling swept over me though, and this time it was one of relief. Browsing through those comments made me realize how important it is to feel like someone “gets” you, even though they might be suffering worse than you, and so an idea was born. I spent the next couple of months gathering as many quotes and stories about ignorant family members and false friends so that I could present a collection of honest and raw accounts from real people in hopes that I could show others that they are not alone. There is a network of us out there and not everyone is going to understand the intricacies of our identity, but the important thing, above all is that we know who we are at our core.


I hope you connect with these stories the same way I connected with all of these people, and remember, You are You, I am Me, and Together, We can be Strong.



Happy Coming Out (Again) Day!

In honor of National Coming Out Day (which was technically yesterday now but due to my car dying and me having to call AAA, this post is late) here in the U.S., I thought I’d just share my own coming out experience. As many of you in the community know, coming out is a lifelong process. We have that moment that we first tell someone about our queerness and from that moment unlocks the Pandora’s box of coming out… this is my story so far. 

Anyone will tell you that the first person they came out to was themselves… so this first part is how I discovered I was queer…

Once upon a time back in 2003, in the not-so-far-away town of Montville, a baby gay (that’s me) was emerging. I sat in my RCIA class, getting ready for confirmation in the Catholic Church, when I found my eyes wandering across the table and landing on a really nice rack…no, not a clothing rack. 

I then proceeded to have an internal conversation with myself. It went a little something like this:

The Gay: “BOOBS.”

Brain: “Wtf, why are you staring at boobs?”

The Gay: “BOOBS.”

Brain: “You’re no help…SHIT what if I like boobs? AM I GAY?! No, I don’t think so. I like dudes…i think. I must be bi… I guess that’s it. Okay, I’m Bi. Hmmm….I should probably stop being a homophobic asshole.”

The Gay: “BOOBS.”


And just like that I was bisexual and relatively okay with my identity. I told my first friend pretty soon after that, but it wasn’t until I had some more experience that I realized I really did not like boys… like at all. So by the time I entered junior year of high school I was a full-fledged homo…. with a serious crush on a good friend, WHO, coincidentally, ended up being the second person I told I was gay to and became my first girlfriend. This relationshipping led me to come out to basically everyone else… which brings me to my second coming out story…


My first relationship ended up becoming complicated fairly quickly. After my girlfriend told her parents we were dating, they basically banned her from seeing me and made it very difficult to continue the relationship, which ended up being the reason we called it quits. On a particularly emotional day, when we were still dating, my mother asked me what was wrong because she could tell that I was…well…off.

*Keep in mind that my mother is driving at this point.”

She asked if I wanted to talk about it and I said yes, but it took me a while to actually form words so she knew something big was about to happen. Finally, I gathered up all the air in my chest and spat it out:

“[NAME]’s parents don’t like me because we are together.”

And the car fell silent. For like 3 minutes. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG 3 MINUTES FEELS LIKE WHEN YOU’RE SITTING IN SILENCE?!

I finally broke the silence and said, “WELL?!” 

She replied, “What do you mean… together?”

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT AFTER THREE MINUTES OF SITTING IN SILENCE THIS IS WHAT COMES TO YOUR MIND? I told her I didn’t need to spell it out for her and that’s when the waterworks and slew of anticipated heteronormative questioning commenced:

“Was it something I did?” No, it’s not about you.

“Are you sure this is not a phase?” Yes. I had a very clarifying conversation with myself at RCIA. 

“How do you know for sure if you haven’t tried anything else?” How do you know you’re straight?

…all the meantime just thinking, “Shit, this is it…this is how I die. In a car crash caused by coming out.”
But we made it safely home, and that’s where the real fun began. My mom seemed to get over the typical questions pretty quickly and moved on:

“So, you mean, like when she was here, you two were… together?!” Yes 😅 “😡” 🤷🏼‍♂️

“How do you… ya know, have sex?” WOW MOM GOOGLE IT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW🤦🏼‍♂️

After a pretty long driveway conversation, we got to a place of love and acceptance… and then like the next day she went to the library and checked out every book imaginable on having a gay child 😂 gotta love her for trying to understand. 

I didn’t tell my dad until a couple years later, but it was pretty uneventful. 

As I became more educated about various sexualities and gender identities, I came to realize that I’m one complicated fuck. Once I learned that there isn’t just male or female, I knew that I was in that gray space in between and things pretty much settled there until last year, when I came out as transgender. PLOT TWIST. 

I had to start this coming out process all over again. 

This time, the first two people I told were two of my very best friends, Suz and Ang. I don’t think either of them were necessarily stunned or shocked, so that was nice to see that it wasn’t such an unfathomable progression. 

I don’t have any anecdotes about coming out this time around, and I can definitely say that this was 100x harder than coming out the first time and I have lost people because of it. If I could compare coming out as transgender to another situation, I would say it is akin to a dissertation defense. You’ve done your research and it’s something YOU know is important, but now it’s time to try and make OTHERS understand, while also dealing with their criticism and skepticism. 

As I’ve matured, I’ve grown to understand that sexualities and identities are constantly changing because WE are constantly changing, as is the world around us.  I live my life authentically every day, and that is all anyone can hope to do. 

I hope everyone had a great coming out day and was able to celebrate as your true, authentic selves. 

I am Spartan.


I have a Bachelor’s degree from a pretty well-known university; I have an MBA; I’m a certified EMT- all accomplishments I have achieved myself, but none that required as much blood, sweat, tears (and bruises) than this past weekend. On Saturday, I completed something I never thought I would even attempt.

I earned a Spartan Trifecta.IMG_2112

Now, I know what you must be thinking… “So what? A stupid medal is better than a degree?” But it’s not just a stupid medal.

Not to me.

Looking at the many pictures and selfies I’ve posted over the years, you can probably tell I’m not the most fit person on the planet. A couple years ago, I hired a nutritionist and a personal trainer and successfully lost 60 pounds, but after starting hormones, my weight jumped back up and I’ve been struggling with it for the past 10 months. My weight is something I’ve struggled with for most of my life, but my activity level has never faltered, and completing this trifecta reinforced the fact that I don’t have to look like a fitness model in order to achieve something great, and not all people that look the way I do sit on their butts all day watching Grey’s Anatomy….

…only sometimes 😉

IMG_2114There’s no cheating in a Spartan Race. Of course, you can skip an obstacle, fill the bucket a little short, or cut the burpees, but at the end of the day, you still have to run (or walk) those 4+, 8+, and 14+ miles for the Sprint, Super, and Beast, and that’s where the pure sense of accomplishment comes in. Jumping over that fire as the very last obstacle, you’re reminded of the endless hills (or mountains) you have climbed, fallen (or slid) down, the twisters you’ve fallen off of, and the weight of the sandbag resting ever so uncomfortably on your shoulders, inevitably shifting the sand to one side so you’re thrown off balance.

The slogan posted on many Spartan items really sums it up: “You’ll know at the finish line,” and for me, each finish line is just the beginning of a new adventure. #AROO


An open letter to all those feeling personally victimized by resistance to the gender binary.

635882589293180031-1196482094_Girls Victimized

Dear mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts, and any other gendered familial names I’ve missed-

There’s been a lot of talk around a particular topic and so I’ve decided to bring forth some reasoning and explanation about why this is such a controversial topic. I recently saw a POST on my wall condemning the ever-popular “Gender-Reveal” party, and I must say, I mostly agree with everything the author stated in the article, but, being an actual real-life trans person, I feel like I have an additional perspective to contribute to the dialogue.

Being trans, it is not only the validity of my identity that I am fighting for, but theScreen Shot 2017-07-10 at 16.27.07 acceptance of all trans individuals statewide, nationwide, and yes, even worldwide. So, it should go without saying that I, as a member of the gender-variant community of this world, reject the gender binary.

Holding a celebration for having a child is cute. You typically have a party…ONE party…there’s a name for them that is currently eludi- AH YES, the good ‘ole BABY SHOWER. Honestly, people complain about having to attend those enough so WHY DO YOU NEED AN EXCUSE FOR ANOTHER UNNECESSARY PARTY?

“But Britney, like, I just want to have another party because parties are fun and I want to hang out.”

“OMG Whitney, I know I can’t wait to buy the right color clothes and everything once we find out!”

And right there lies the problem. The gender-reveal party is not just a grand old time 4896822030_e7fa872658_bcelebrating and drinking a beer with the boys; it is LITERALLY a CELEBRATION of the baby’s GENDER (which, I may add, does not even START to develop until around 2). By celebrating the one thing that people like me are trying to overcome, it’s reinforcing the fact that there actually IS a gender binary, and not only that, but gender stereotypes to go along with that. The sea of blue or pink that rains down when party throwers shout, “It’s a [insert boy or girl here]!” is actively invalidating our fight to break down these persistent little stereotypes of BLUE IS BOY and PINK IS GIRL.

So, NO, I will not pretend to support your regressive gender-reveal party…I will, however, celebrate the birth of your child because babies are cute and make for awesome snapchat stories.

Mit Fruendschaft,
Mel Mason

Happy 26th/1st Birthday to Me!

A long long time ago, back when cell phones were dinosaurs, computers came in cow boxes, and the internet didn’t exist, a beautiful mommy was lying in the hospital waiting for the doctor to birth her lazy child who didn’t feel like coming out. 

That was me. 🙃

So from up above “God” looked down and got ready to see this child he had “created,” and when the doctor pulled me out and declared, “It’s a girl!” God looked in amazement and said…


He turned to an angel with a fair amount of confusion on his face: “I could have sworn I threw in the Y chromosome there.”

The angel replied, “You fucked up, man.”

God answered, “Well, I’m only human!”

The angel looked at him 😐😐😐 “Dude, no you’re not.”

God threw up his hands and decided he would make the next generation of babies maturally inclined to be more open and accepting of his fuckups. 

And that’s the story of my birth…or, well, so I’d like to think. 😜

I’m so lucky to have an amazing group of friends and family that accept me just the way I am. This was my first birthday as Mel Mason and I enjoyed every minute of it. Thanks to everyone who made a very unspectacular 26 feel like the most special 1st birthday ever! 

NYC Pride 2017!

It’s that time of year to celebrate any and all sexualities and gender identities! This will be my sixth pride and I’m looking forward to spending it with my fabulous sisters and friends. We are heading into the city by train armed with our Queer Beer.

See you at pride!

Queer Beer Squad
Queer Beer Squad